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Current events in my life... - DanGarion =dot= com
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Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory. Lasts forever
Date: 2001-08-01 23:11
Subject: Current events in my life...
Security: Public
Mood:mellowmellow
Music:Something from The Juliana Theory
Yes Yes I know... I never post in my journal. Work has really just been to hectic to take time out and post in my journal. The past 2 or 3 weeks my department has hired 5 new Level 3 Help Desk techs, and basically I have not had any time to myself at work since. I seem to be doing a majority of the training on the harder to train people, sometimes I consider it punishment, but I know in all honesty it's because my boss Norm trusts my ability. So even though it sometimes can be overwhelming I still enjoy it. I've been sick the past couple days. I went to the doctor yesterday and she said it was just a cold. I'm feeling better today.

Two weekends ago when fresh25, Dave, Steve and I went to Off Campus Pub, I actually walked up to 2 girls and asked them if they would like to dance with my bud fresh25 and I and they said yes. So we danced for about 20-30 mins. The girl I danced with was cute, but unfortunately when they had to go and I asked her for her number she told me she kinda had a b/f. Oh well... her loss.

Last weekend I had birthday parties for my Grandmother on my mom's side, and also for my grandfather on my dad's side, both of them just turned 80 years old!

My buddy Paul got a girlfriend, this girl he met at Off Campus Pub. It's good that he has found someone, just sucks that he's to busy for the guys.

I'm not sure what is happening with my current dating situation. I'm not dating anyone, I don't have anyone in mind currently, but I am talking to this one girl that seems pretty cool. We haven't really talked much, plus she lives far away (more then an hour). I haven't met her yet, she saw my web site and thought I sounded interesting... so I don't know. I'm VERY hesitant to even attempt to date anyone with a child. Because of previous experiences. Not that I am considering dating her since we haven't even met. But I'm probably saying to much she also has a LJ account. But this is my journal I use to get things on my chest and I don't like to censor myself.

My friend dipster might be getting a condo! That means I might be moving out soon! To bad that place is about 1500 feet from Time Warner Cable's service area (since that is who I work for!). No free Road Runner and digital cable for us... That really sucks.

I'm almost completed with the network that I am putting together at the Boys and Girls Club. I am putting together their entire computer network and new computer center. Doing it all for free, plus I'm hopefully getting a $500.00 grant from work to use for the equipment that they have purchased. I am going to be their system and network administrator and possibly I may join their board of directors as their technology advisor. I hope to finish everything up on Friday, had some issues with the wireless router that was purchased, unfortunately it will not work in their building so I have to run network cable in their raised ceiling.

Other then what I posted not much else is happening. I'm lonely, but that isn't anything new. I'm willing to wait for what I am looking for, I know it's out there.

Oh yeah that girl I met a couple weeks ago never called me back after two attempts... Oh well, fuck her... if she didn't want to talk to me she could have just not given me her number or gave me a fake one.
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J.
User: beddheadd
Date: 2001-08-01 23:57 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
What? You'd rather get a fake number?

I'd rather not give my number out a guy, than to have to resort to giving fake numbers. When I go clubbing, and I'm asked for it (not by many men, trust me), I just say I'm not the kind of girl who gives her number out to guys at a club. Hehe. Then I just say, "Okay, bye!" and maybe shake their hand or do something that says, "Nice having met you, but you're not my type." :)

Okay, to give you an idea of how many guys have actually called me from a club? ZERO.

I don't attract *normal* men (well, except for maybe Ken. But he's a total fluke and I just got lucky or something...anyway...)

Example: I went to Miyagi's on Sunset earlier this year. (I hate Miyagi's, but this was for a friend's birthday.) I'm kind of faded, but not so much to be completely incoherent. This ghetto-superstar boy keeps asking me for my number and rubbing up against me. Gross, gross! I keep telling him, "No, no, I don't do that." But the idiot keeps asking me like the psychopath that he is. :P

Anyway, to make a long story short (I'll cut out the part where he follows me around the bar...but never offers to buy me a drink, tee hee), I was leaving the club with my friends and he called me a SNOB!

Okay...so if I don't hand out my number to guys...I'm a snob. That's okay by me. :)

There was a point to this. I think. But now that I've written so much, I've forgotten. Hehe. I'll let you know if I remember later. :)
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Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory. Lasts forever
User: dangarion
Date: 2001-08-02 00:05 (UTC)
Subject: Re:
The problem is why did she give me her number in the first place!?
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J.
User: beddheadd
Date: 2001-08-02 09:38 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Oh yeah! That was my point. :)

She's stupid. Screw her. Yeah, I know you're already thinking that. She's a pushover, Dan. You ask, she gives. She thinks she's trying to be nice, but really, she isn't. Whatever. Did you really want to get involved with a girl who's a pushover?

(I can think of at least one reason why it would be beneficial -- for YOU, not her -- but I'll refrain. :x Hehe.)

Anyway...I know it sounds cliche...but you're better off without her. :P

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Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory. Lasts forever
User: dangarion
Date: 2001-08-02 09:41 (UTC)
Subject: Re:
Well yeah it could benifit me, but I'm not the type fo guy that just thinks of that... :)
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User: (Anonymous)
Date: 2001-08-02 09:47 (UTC)
Subject: WOW
Well D it seems to me your a very busy guy. The sad thing is your bummed out about some club girl that obviously is not interested, you need to move on, there are to many other GREAT GIRLS out there. And it is a shame that you may have met a real nice girl and are not able to even give her a chance since she lives over an hour away (excuse me while I laugh) D have you ever heard of a real long distance relationship....usually that falls under 300 plus miles away.... your silly :) Now that may be hard. And as far as children, did you know that God gives women children so they can love and nourish them and teach them about life and love, and unfortunelty only some men stick around to be a part of that, now does that need to be a reason to not love single mothers and their children....Just my opionion.... not like you asked :) Anyways, my point to all of this that your soul mate is out there, I do beleive that we all have them... so just in case yours has come around and your hand goes up cuz of distance or kids, be cationed she may not be there when you figure it all out :)
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Joy
User: rednblue
Date: 2001-08-02 09:54 (UTC)
Subject: One more thing
Life is to short to be lonely and so busy you have no time for yourself........ Make the best out of everyday... (Should'nt have not put my last comment under anonymous... sorry)I stand behind what I feel :)
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Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory. Lasts forever
User: dangarion
Date: 2001-08-02 10:04 (UTC)
Subject: Re: One more thing
Well my lonliness only comes from a lack of a relationship. I'm happy and enjoy life because of the friends I have in my life.

I'm sorry to say that reasons such as the ones I stated are things that I use as guidelines to my dating and relationships are my decision. I have thought long and hard on what I want in a relationship. I am picky and I tend to stick to my values and I stick to my feelings on what I am looking for in a relationship.

I'm not stuck on the club girl, I just wanted to update my friends on what happened with it. The club girl already was forgotten 2 weeks ago when I tossed her number.
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Joy
User: rednblue
Date: 2001-08-02 10:15 (UTC)
Subject: Hmmm
I never said that you were stuck on that club girl. I only wish you the best, never settle for anything less then what you want :)
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Life mostly un-examined.
User: dipster
Date: 2001-08-02 10:23 (UTC)
Subject: Dating girls with kids...
There are a few considerations you need to keep in mind before dating a girl with kids. Mostly it depends on what they're looking for.

Some young moms are looking for a guy who can get them out of their current situation, as if you're their white knight. (Like a lot of the girls from Prism.)

I know it's unfair to these girls to caution you about them, but these girls (as a group) tend to have severe self-esteem problems. It would not be a relationship of equality.

As Friends, sure, but not more than that.

Some girls are more fortunate to have their own security (because of education or experience), so they can actually go out simply to have fun.

But, as always, it depends on the girl in question.

Your milage may vary.
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Andie Pandie
User: abnrml
Date: 2001-08-02 10:36 (UTC)
Subject: Re: Dating girls with kids...
NO.....I have no problem with my self esteem thank you very much. I am looking for a friend and have never ever ever said anything like i wanted more then that. Augh i am actually very disapointed to hear that you say this. So what because there is a stamp on girls with kids we get screwed because you have to be cautious. NO WAY thats not fair. I am a great person i love to have fun i would love a person to share that with. I am not asking anyone to take on the responsibilties of my daughter she isnt even going to be involed her and whom I date are two different things. Damn I hate that I have to Fucking suffer because i have a daughter but you know what Its anyones loss if they even have to question it. Its not about her its about me and if you cant like me for who i am then its not going to work out. You know what i am a pretty cool girl. I am fun i love to hang out and just chill i love to do all the things a normal 22 year old would do but yes i have a daughter and i get screwed because of it. DAMN
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Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory. Lasts forever
User: dangarion
Date: 2001-08-02 10:43 (UTC)
Subject: Re: Dating girls with kids...
Then you fit under his second catagory.
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Andie Pandie
User: abnrml
Date: 2001-08-02 10:54 (UTC)
Subject: Re: Dating girls with kids...
Thats fine. But no matter if I am educated and secure and have an awesome job and can support myself and all i want to do is have a great time. I still get put under that she has a kid so put your guard up and I dont think its right. All I say is give someone a chance dont let them haveing a kid put a question in your mind on whether you should or shouldnt go out with them. You try it because of one bad experience doesnt mean they are all bad. :) you just throw that one bad apple out before it affects the whole bunch. (okay yes that was corny).
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Life mostly un-examined.
User: dipster
Date: 2001-08-02 11:04 (UTC)
Subject: Re: Dating girls with kids...
I was not specifically refering to you.

Dan and I were on this now-defunct BBS where quite a few of the girls were taken advantage of by guys. With one exception, these girls are living with their parents, working jobs they don't like, existing from day to day. Basically, they're stuck, and looking for a way out.

Some girls actually do manage to finish college and become self sufficient, but most don't. Hopefully, you're taking classes so you won't be stuck at menial jobs for the rest of your life.

If I were you, I'd quit whining about how having a kid stops you from doing the stuff you want to do. Children are supposed to be a joy, and not some anchor around your neck!

A "damn cool girl" should see that the guys who can't see past your child aren't worth the trouble. Dating and your child are not two seperate different things.
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Andie Pandie
User: abnrml
Date: 2001-08-02 11:24 (UTC)
Subject: Re: Dating girls with kids...
I am not going to argue my point anymore. If someone cant see thru her then yes they arent worth my time. I am just trying to get over the fact that i am alone and would love to start going out with other guys not dwelling on my past. I am a strong women and know what i want in life and i am not going to let anyone bring me down. I love my daughter she is everything to me and if its time to move on then its time.
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Life mostly un-examined.
User: dipster
Date: 2001-08-02 11:26 (UTC)
Subject: Re: Dating girls with kids...
Good, that's exactly the attitude to have. :)
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User: (Anonymous)
Date: 2001-08-02 11:29 (UTC)
Subject: Re: Dating girls with kids...
When you date believe it or not your children are involved, no matter how hard you try to seperate the two. It does not work. I was married for a long time, and I have two children, and when it was time for me to date, I always had to keep in mind my children, not only for their benefit but for mine. Dating men when you have children does not have to be hard, it can be fun for all, especially if you know up front that there are no strings attached, see when you date someone and things go good, and things are meant to be, nothing will matter, everything will work out, and that is the magic of a wonderful relationship... This comes from my own experience. I was looking for a friend, someone I could have fun and cherish and be cherished, and all I asked was to be respected as a single Mom with two wonderful kids...Now two years later, the man's bond with my children has became a very special thing, not only do I see it, but others do too. And beleive me, he never wanted to settle down with a woman with kids. It just depends... I guess. Unfortunetly some women have left a real bad name for the good ones.
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Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory. Lasts forever: Not Fun
User: dangarion
Date: 2001-08-02 16:56 (UTC)
Subject: Re: Dating girls with kids...
Keyword:Not Fun
"I'm not sure what is happening with my current dating situation. I'm not dating anyone, I don't have anyone in mind currently, but I am talking to this one girl that seems pretty cool. We haven't really talked much, plus she lives far away (more then an hour). I haven't met her yet, she saw my web site and thought I sounded interesting... so I don't know. I'm VERY hesitant to even attempt to date anyone with a child. Because of previous experiences. Not that I am considering dating her since we haven't even met. But I'm probably saying to much she also has a LJ account. But this is my journal I use to get things on my chest and I don't like to censor myself."

I did not say anything else other then this about the subject on my journal. Please don't tell me what I should and should not post on my journal. I didn't say I flat out would not every, no matter what give her a chance.

I'm sorry to be so direct about this but I really did not appreciate a message you sent to me via AIM...
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J.
User: beddheadd
Date: 2001-08-02 14:53 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I don't think it's a matter of "giving chances to girls with kids"...I think it's a matter of personal preference. Some guys care about that part, other guys don't. Sometimes, the guys that care that you have kids change their minds...and then it works out. Sometimes guys just don't change their minds, whatever.

People change their minds/views like crazy; that's why we're so interesting as just, well, HUMANS! :) We are ever-evolving into even more complicated beings. Go us!

But anyway. I did have a point: it's not really the girls-with-kids getting a chance, it's also the guys getting a chance to know you...AND your kids. Then things happen from there. However, should the guy already have a personal preference...which includes NO kids in the picture? Eh. No big deal. There are plenty of fish in the sea. :) (I'm the Queen of Cliches today, I know.)

I don't have kids. But I once dated this guy who didn't tell me he had a kid until like 2 weeks into it. So, I have a lot of respect for people who say it straight out -- and DEFINITELY not a lot for people who choose to hide it, though I guess I could understand why they would if they were wanting to date...it's not that it's a bad thing to have kids, it's just that there are more single people who don't have kids than there are who do, especially in your early 20s.

Anyhow. You're only young for a little while...but you're a mom for the rest of your life. Life seems to pass you by when you're missing out on the [horrible] rituals of dating, hehe...but when you really think about it, your baby is always going to be your baby -- your friends, your boyfriends, etc., etc. -- may not always be there.
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Andie Pandie
User: abnrml
Date: 2001-08-02 15:26 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
If a guy has a personal preference that is great but he should tell you that straight out like you tell him you have a kid he tells you im not interested. He shouldnt play a game.

Its the hardest when you have kids and all your friends dont and they can go out and have a great time and really honestly I dont mind it its sad sometimes but its a consequence to the decisions that you make.

Life does seem to pass you up when you have a kid but you just have to grab hold and hang on for the ride sometimes its smooth and other times its a bummpy one.

If they were a true friend they should always be there for you if they werent what kind of a friend would that be.
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