After breaking up with J in April, I was very hurt. Luckily with friends like Doug I got through it. I think I got through it easier then most, maybe it's because I realized it was for the better and that I had gotten out of a bad situation. After a couple months I started to think about dating again. The first girl I went on a date with after J was in the beginning of June. I met Melody online on yahoo personals... believe me I don't like meeting people online, I just tend to be shy and have a hard time meeting people. Melody was 1 year older then me and also had 1 child. Her daughter was 3 years old when we started to date. M had just moved to CA about 4 weeks before she met me. She had just got out of a 1 year relationship with a guy that was 6 or 7 years younger then her (yes she was a cradle robber). She moved to here to live near her parents. She had just had an abortion about a month or two before meeting me and it was her ex's child. (I just know how to pick them) We started dating and almost immediately hung out everyday. I would go over to her place just about every night after work and we would just sit around and watch TV or go out and have dinner (side note - M would take her daughter everywhere). I stayed over after about the 8th day or so. It had got late and she asked me to stay. Me being a guy and enjoying the company of course said yes. Little did I know what staying over would mean. M turned off the light and went into the bathroom. She came back naked and hopped into bed with me. This was an entirely new experience a naked woman laying next to me in bed, and I am fully clothed. I took it for what it was worth and cuddled up next to her. A couple days later I stayed over again and I joined her in the buff. (sorry for the mental pictures) ;P~. Now this is about 14 days into the dating and I am spending the night at a girl's place that I have yet to kiss, and I am laying in bed with her naked. This was different, but because of that I liked it. After about 3 weeks of dating we finally kissed for the first time. I had been so scared to kiss her and this is when things really got crazy. I stayed over a couple more days and we started to talk about marriage (not really getting married, but about it in general), and also then the talk about sex and love. Neither of us were in love, but one of us really wanted to have sex (well both of us, but much more her then me). We talked about the reasons of not having sex and I explained that I had to be in love with the person and in a committed relationship. That night was one of the first nights we every really got intimate sexually. We fooled around and then it came to almost the point that we would have sex (I stopped and explained again why I couldn't and also went on to explain that since we had no protection it couldn't happen anyway. I may have been a virgin but I'm not stupid.) Next day comes along and I come over... guess what? AM went to the store and got condoms! We talked about again, and I explained my stances (although I was starting to break down.) That night the same situation comes along as the previous and she asked me if I wanted to have sex again. I first said no, and then after a minute of thinking about it (not sure which head) I smiled and said yes. I would explain this part in graphic detail but I'm sure I have already subjected you all to enough mental pictures! The next day I thought long and hard about what had happened told myself I love her. I bought her flowers and came over we made dinner and things were good. Things seemed fine for a couple days. Then all of the sudden she seemed distant. I was going to come over and she canceled. She was tired or something. I insisted on coming over because I needed to talk to her. I knew something was wrong. When I got to her place she wouldn't talk about us. I asked and asked and asked and she kept saying nothing was wrong and that she didn't want to talk about it now. She finally broke in (persistency pays off) she told me she was still in love with her ex and that she wasn't sure about us. I was hurt bad... this was the person I had given something I could never take back and she basically slaps me in the face and said "fuck you I don't want you in my life". I left and only talked to her once ever again about a week after everything went down.
I chalk it up as another great experience in life. This actually hurt me more then when my ex broke up with me. Plus I this is what lead me to never want to date a single mother again. (that may change someday) I did date for months after this ordeal and to this day I still wish I could take that one night back... (well part of me any ways... ;AP~ )
In the past I have tended to get caught up in relationships to quickly and I realize that it doesn't work out the best that way. Just once I wish I could have a slow paced, "normal" relationship. It hasn't happen yet, but I know it will eventually some day.