Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory. Lasts forever (dangarion) wrote,
Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory. Lasts forever
dangarion

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Wishes...

With the holidays here, I've been feeling lonely, it's just been so long since I've had someone to really be able to depend on and be there for me when I need it. And of course seeing couples and such when I'm out doesn't make things any better. I'd love to have someone to spend my time with. Just sit down and talk and relax together.

Seeing my parents and how much they still love each other to this day just amazes me and I want that. I remember back when I was a kid sometimes when they would be cooking dinner (because my parents always both did the cooking) my dad would put on music on the record player (Rolling Stones or Rod Stewart usually) and while the food was cooking it was playing in the living room and my dad and mom would dance around a little, my sister and I would watch them, and I just was so happy. Thinking back those are some of the best memories of growing up, that family time we spent while the food was cooking. Still today it happens when I come over and they are cooking they have music on sometimes and my dad will be goofy and do his little Mick Jagger impression. I laugh out of embarassment but at the same time it makes me so happy, because it's something I will always remember. Something that I will inherit as my own type of little "tradition" that my wife and I and our kids will do from time to time when we are cooking dinner.

My parents really are my inspiration when it comes to love. They are just as in love today as they were when they married after being high school sweethearts. Maybe that's why my outlook on love, dating, and life tends to be so focused on how romantic I see it. I'm so willing to love someone and have what my parents have, because it brings me back to one of the many happy moments in my life.

But at the same time, seeing other people having this and my lack of it tends to make me extremely lonely. I've only once really had someone during the holidays. At that time my gf was living with me at my parents house, it was nice, to have someone there, through the holidays.

Next year will be a very big year for me. I already know this for a fact. A lot of decisions will be made as to where things are going and what I'm going to do with my life. Going to be 28 in less then 2 months, will have been on my own for 2 years, going to buy my first new car all on my own, and other major decisions will be decided. Dating, Career, Life, etc. will all have major decisions. Soon I will be workings days again, my life will start moving along again instead of the pause I've had this past year. Me working on my weight has been my first major step towards 2004, and I'm still looking at being around 235-240 by then. In fact today my mom had be try on my old suit that I wore to graduation, it fits nearly perfect, the buttons reach and the pants fit, but it could use me losing 10 more pounds. I know I probably haven't lost any this week since I've slacked off going to the gym, but I'm getting back in there tomorrow.

On a side note I got my company Christmas party on Saturday at the House of Blues in LA, the company (not the CIA, my company) rented it out for the nigth and we will have live music (not sure if it's going to be anyone famous, I mean we are TIME WARNER!). It should be fun, she's coming with me as my date, and it's been months since I've seen her. I've lost like 25 pounds since then. I know she's stressing about it because basically she works everyday for the next 35 or so days starting last weekend. I don't know how she does it with everything she has going on. But I'm sure we will have a lot of fun. I've already pretty much got everything I'm wearing set, except I need new shoes and a new tie. I bought this really nice Ben Sherman white dress shirt at Nordstrom's a couple weeks ago, and then I'm wearing this DC Ethic pants I got a long time ago but haven't been able to wear for over a year. Then I have this nice black trendy dress jacket to wear and then my tie. I'm going to look sharp. I will try to sneak in a picture of us, just something I would really like to have to remember the night and so my close friends can actually see what we look like together. One thing I regret is that I don't have enough pictures of people and things that are special to me in my life. That's another thing I plan to work on next year with the digital camera I'm going to get.

Well anyway, I guess I covered a lot of subjects tonight. I better get in to bed because I'm going to the gym. Might be busier then normal tomorrow! As something that my best friend Doug would say (Hey man I really miss you), "I'm going to get my racquetball on!" :)

Goodnight!

gah I need to get some new icons I can't figure what to use!
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