pessimisticOptimism. I've always been one of those people that is an optimism on the outside but completely pessimistic on the inside. I start with high hopes about things and they slowly deteriate to. I tend to be a worrier. I start to think about things to much and it brings me down. I'm not like that all the time but when I'm unsure about things I tend to worry a lot. Like with the girl I've been seeing/dating/whatever it is right now. I think I bring on half the problems I've had with the relationship myself because I worry and think about things to much.
I'm trying to stay more optimistic. Even though I'm not presently optimistic I know if I see this through and wait it out that things will work out eventually. It's just I'm impatient because things were going so good and then we basically hit a brick wall and everything went to a standstill.
What a way to talk about optimism...
Anyway things are ok. I'm ok. Had a good weekend. Played 1 hour of raquetball on Friday, called her and gave to see how she was doing because she was upset about something the night before I just wanted to let her know that no matter what's going on between us on any other level that I'm always there for her as a friend first and that I hoped she knows she can talk to me if she's feelling down or just needs a friend. I kept it short since she was driving one her children back from the doctors. Then I went over to my moms work and visited. We talked about this grant that I helped them get and about how we are going to implement the computers they are getting from it. Should work out pretty well. Then I went out to Sushi for
snuffyfur. dipster and neonster and of course snuffs wife jennfurr was there and the twins. Then I went to the movies with my cousin and saw S.W.A.T. I liked it. It was entertaining and action packed.On Saturday I picked up Madden 2004 from
freshtastic73 and then went over to my friend Glenn's place. We went over to the mall and to a couple sporting goods stores to look at heavy bags. I'm looking for something to put in my garage to work out with for days when I don't feel like playing raquetball. Then it was time for D&D although we acutally played WhiteWolf.Today I played raquetball for an hour and then cleaned up tried out Madden really quick and went into work at 1 PM. Another 2 hours of OT. My next check will have 16.5 hours of overtime. So far the check after that will have 4 hours but I'm sure I will have a little more.
School starts this week. I'm taking into to guitar (Weds) and then Survey of Children's Lit (online). So I guess I will have to do a lot of reading since I think it is a 9 week class... I read slow. I'm just hoping for a C or better. Don't really matter much. Hoping someday I might be able to write music to these lyrics I write up... Who knows.
On a final note I care more about her then I have cared for anyone for a long time. I just wish things were back like they were in early July. Everything was going so well then...
